Thanks to technology, there are now more ways than ever to find sexual partners, communicate with them, and even engage in sexual activities. These days, sexting is all the rage. But what is sexting?
What is sexting?
“Sexting” refers to sending erotic text messages, photos, or videos via mobile phone. “It’s the natural way to communicate nowadays,” says a man I practiced with. “You send and receive messages and you’re exchanging ‘hot’ photos before long.”
Why is this a widespread phenomenon? For some teenagers, “a cell phone picture of your naked partner is an electronic proof of your sex life.” One friend even called sexting a form of “protected sex.” After all, “you don’t get pregnant or transmit any STDs,” she says.
There are many things that could be considered sexting:
- Sending naughty texts
- Sharing sexy pictures or videos
- Undressing during live videos
- Text-based rendering
What is sexting good for? Sexting allows you to send sexy messages to your man when you are apart during the day, be sensual with your long-distance partner, and engage others in a sexual game when natural intercourse is impossible. Sexting can add spice back to your relationship.
I asked two friends of mine to explain this as best they could, here’s what they had to say:
“Once I stopped everything I was doing for eight and a half hours, with a complete stranger. His words, patience, and disinterested manner did something to me that I can’t explain even today. He made love to my mind in such a deep and connected way that I have never been able to achieve the same orgasmic feeling. We didn’t even have sex that day, it was something much better than that, a simple connection. He got into my head and I wanted to get into my pants. That made me want him even more and until that moment, I had no idea what he looked like.
To be honest, I wasn’t interested. He teased and challenged me to the point where I started writing to him every day after that. Yes, I started following him. He finally sent me his picture, but that was only after a few weeks and after we had already had phone sex many times. I’m not even sure that I was the only one she had sex with, I never asked. He is my husband now and yes, we are still together to this day, and even more so when he is away on business trips we have phone sex.
This really fits into our voyeuristic fetishes. The only difference is that now our sexting episodes can start on the phone, but they can end in our bed.”
“Sexting for me means I’m able to do things to people that I can’t do. I give myself this incredible control over a man’s mind that I find really sexy, especially when drunk.
Acts that I can describe in minute detail are not actually possible for me in the real world because they are much more conservative than I like to admit. For example, I’m thinking about having sex with an entire football team, but it doesn’t mean I actually intended to do it. Men also fantasize about things. I like to hear what they want, but I just don’t want to participate in anything.
No, I don’t want to be tied to a bed by someone I just met, even if he sounds hot. He could be a possible serial killer! Yes, I watch too much CSI! Fantasies are much better and safer in the mind (in my opinion). For me, sexting is the best way to explore them, you can let go and imagine yourself doing the things you dream of doing, but which will not be possible.
With the sex of the imagination as I like to call it, you control the whole process and make it perfect in your mind. When you do this, you experience an orgasm so powerful and passionate that real sex can’t compete. Often women find it difficult to do certain things during sex and it is much easier for them, in this case, to masturbate when they are alone.”
It’s also interesting to note that both of my friends agreed, but what they hated most about sexting were men who think sending “I can see your breasts” messages are attractive.
Maria described it best:
“Receiving a message like this is a complete turn off and more than that, it’s rude. You would never run up to a random stranger and ask him this question in person. Why do men think it’s okay to do this on the phone? Women want to be challenged, we want to be dressed and we want to be treated the same as in real life. “
The rules of sexting
- Be patient
Most women won’t dive right into sexting the first time they talk to you. It’s about repeated calls or messages. That’s what you’re actually paying for. Subsequent phone calls or texts will eventually lead to something a little more intense. Patience is a virtue in this game.
- Ask for nudes only after getting to know each other better
Real women don’t sext nude images for strangers! In other words, you need to know someone before asking them to chat with you or send you random text messages or pictures. It’s a complete waste of time and it’s actually creepy.
- Check the reality
A reality check is definitely needed here, most sexting profiles are not real. I repeat, most profiles on dating and sexting sites are not real. The real ones are usually professional models or women just looking for an ego boost. Research the sites you use before you waste countless hours looking for the perfect person only to realize that they never existed. Sexting sites that allow anyone to sign up for free are the worst because no one texted back!
- Invest some time
You have to pay to play if you don’t want to be ignored or want instant gratification. Sexting is just like dating, you have to work at it. You can check out some sexting examples on how to talk dirty to a girl.
After you have mastered the other rules, you are finally ready to play.
Strategies for winning the sexting game
- Sexting is best played in the mind. Try to be more teasing and challenging, rather than demanding and confident. It just makes you look like a complete ass and honestly, it’s boring!
- Create some mystery between you, everyone likes a challenge.
- Don’t tell the person you want everything about you right away. Make them want you more. Be teased, you know you can be.
- If you simply want a quickie, pay for it!
- Do not send nude pictures of yourself. Ever!
- This is where you have to get creative. You can send nude pictures of yourself (on request) if you think you can trust that person. However, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it.
- The proper way for men to send nude images is to send full body photos. Women hate images of a penis with nothing attached to it. Most often, women will not share these images, so there is a certain level of safety in this regard. However, if you drive her crazy, you’re on your own. “Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned.”
- Women can send bare images of their body parts, but they should never include anything they don’t want to be recognized for, as men tend to share these images. In fact, men brag about getting them.
Sexting is really fun and safe when it is done in the imagination with the consent of adults or by using applications that delete the images after the session ends.
Want to learn more about the dirty talk? Mika is here, and if you let her play with your mind, you can play with hers in countless ways.